


And When You Were Mine

by lovethatwewerein



Category: Glee
Genre: Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25691854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovethatwewerein/pseuds/lovethatwewerein
Summary: Twenty years. Twenty years of being so in love, so blind from his love, that every last problem, every red flag glowing in front of his eyes, went ignored. He let every last issue slide, every moment of tension and became the fool his brother had always been concerned he would be.Kurt had warned him, told him the second he mentioned that Sebastian was back in his life that he would only break his heart. It didn’t matter that he’d changed or grown. He was still the same at his core. And Blaine was an idiot for believing he could improve. He told him to be careful.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	And When You Were Mine

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'Burn' on the Hamilton Soundtrack

Twenty years. Twenty years of being so in love, so blind from his love, that every last problem, every red flag glowing in front of his eyes, went ignored. He let every last issue slide, every moment of tension and became the fool his brother had always been concerned he would be.

Kurt had warned him, told him the second he mentioned that Sebastian was back in his life that he would only break his heart. It didn’t matter that he’d changed or grown. He was still the same at his core. And Blaine was an idiot for believing he could improve. He told him to be careful.

And he was, wasn’t he? They took their time - spent over two years as friends before he ever gave himself over to the temptation. Watched as he calmed down, no longer a lover of parties and competition, but someone that kept his head down to get a job. Sebastian was reliable, healthy, trustworthy. So he’d willingly given over his heart.

_I thought you were mine_

They moved in together when Blaine finally earned his degree in education. He was deliriously happy, lost in love and wonder and life with Sebastian. Settling in took time, rearranging parts of who they were on the surface to make it work, to live in limited space with one another.

He had to use less gel, the time they had in the mornings shortened compared to what they had both known for years of their lives, just to make sure he could get to the school he was substituting at early enough to prepare for the day. Sebastian had to cook dinner on nights where he was the first home, something that had always been done for him or he’d only had to feed himself.

So they took work. They took time and compromise and half a dozen small arguments that resolved themselves after a round of sex, sudden clarity that only ever came from an orgasm. And they were each other’s, wholly. He was Sebastian’s and, despite any worries Kurt had, Sebastian was his.

Or had been, at least.

_Your words flooded my senses_

Sebastian’s way with words had always pulled him in. The articulate way he arranged his thoughts on every topic Blaine could think of, even when his own were spiralling around while he spoke them.

With barely an effort, Sebastian could convince him that they could own the stars if they wanted. That they could beat any and all of their problems if they were together. Sebastian could paint pictures that belonged in a gallery seen only by himself and Blaine with a few choice phrases about beauty.

He admired it. Envied it. Loved it. Until Sebastian could convince him that he was only late home because of a meeting that had run over, or that he bumped into an old friend from law school and had forgotten to tell him that he’d be home later than anticipated.

He could disguise the truth of his actions, the harsh reality that Kurt had been correct about his character all those years ago. He could lie to his Blaine, his husband, without a flutter of an eyelash because he knew he’d believe him. They both did.

_Searching and scanning for answers_

All it took to remember the evidence was closing his eyes. Letting himself settle under the blankets, Sebastian’s breath somehow heavy on his neck in a way it had never been, his ring glistening in any dim light seeping through the cracks of their bedroom and mocking him.

It took nothing more than Sebastian having his tie undone when he came home from work, mentioning an event they had to go to as though it was something he’d already told him, the taste of whiskey lingering just slightly enough on his tongue to be noticed.

They weren’t perfect, not that he ever assumed they were, but they were happy. He was happy. Sebastian said he was happy. He tried to bring it up the night after he read the messages, after he overheard Sebastian on the phone arranging to meet at 11:30 at some random motel, but the accusation caught in his throat.

The bitterness crawled up his neck, the shame that he wasn’t enough, sticking his tongue to the roof of his mouth. It coated his teeth and chilled his veins and, when Sebastian wrapped his arms around his waist, placing a chaste kiss behind his ear, he let himself get lost in the fact that his husband was still there.

He hadn’t lost him yet.

_You told the whole world_

It’s not that he expected it to somehow stay a secret for the rest of their lives. Sebastian was smart, but he had plenty going on that let him slip often enough that Blaine found out about his affair, and that meant anyone could.

He wanted to hide behind a mask when Hunter knocked on their door when he knew Sebastian would still be at work, begging Blaine to let him in because he’d come across some information he thought he ought to know. He’d never lost that flare for the dramatic, but it was less funny when he was pleading Blaine listen to news of his Sebastian’s infidelity.

“I don’t agree with what he’s doing,” Hunter had said, sitting opposite him in the living room. “And I want you to know that I have told Marley.”

“You couldn’t keep this one thing to yourself?”

“She’s my wife, Blaine. We don’t keep secrets.”

He’d flinched at the poor language choice, at their happy marriage and their trust in one another that he wished he could encourage. “I can understand that.”

“We just thought you should know what happens when you aren’t home.”

He’d nodded, directing Hunter to the door so he could leave, requesting he pass along a message of thanks to Marley because, though the news wasn’t joyous, it had been honourable. Her heart was in the right place.

It was a shame his heart threatened to stop beating whenever Sebastian was nearby.

_Your sentences border on senseless_

It took him weeks to work up the courage again, to settle his nerves enough to confront Sebastian, to control the urge to vomit each time he practiced the conversation while grading papers. But he managed it, calmed the part of him that wanted nothing more to continue life as it had been. Because he wasn’t sure who he was without Sebastian any more.

“I know you’re sleeping with someone else.”

Sebastian meets his gaze, glances from his eyes to where he’s twisting his wedding band between his fingers. He hasn’t taken it off yet, hasn’t had the strength to do much but mourn his world falling to pieces around him, but it’s almost burning his skin and he can’t handle it.

“Who told you that? Was it Kurt?”

He shakes his head, resisting the tears prickling the corners of his eyes. “Kurt doesn’t know. I found out about two months ago. I saw the messages.”

“Blaine, you probably misunderstood what they said,” Sebastian reaches out to touch him, possibly to pull him in, possibly to stop his fingers twitching around the ring. “I’m not cheating on you.”

“And Hunter told me.”

It’s his final push, because Sebastian would’ve taken Kurt not knowing as no one knowing, and Hunter never had the strictest moral code. He can see Sebastian shut down, realise that he can't hide behind his lies and rely on Blaine trusting him. It starts an ache in his chest, his heart dropping and seemingly fading into nothingness, but he holds strong.

“It was just once,” Sebastian tries. Another tactic. Another attempt at being the person Blaine loved with everything he had. “You were so busy when you became vice principal and I was lonely. I regretted it right after.”

He recognises the words as his own, uttered years ago to a different boy, uttered by a different Blaine. It’s smart, really, to bring him back to his own guilt, to push past all of his walls to his greatest regret and play on it. But he’s had time to think about what he wants, to guess at every angle Sebastian would play on to make him forgive and forget, and he refuses to back down.

_You forfeit all rights to my heart_

“Don’t use that against me, Sebastian,” his voice cracks on his name, not for the first time in their marriage but somehow more noticeable than ever. “Don’t use my mistakes as a teenager to justify your affair.”

“It wasn’t an affair.”

“So you haven’t seen him every Thursday for the last six weeks?”

Sebastian swallows, his eyes widening just enough that Blaine can see the shock, the slight anger radiating from his body. “Of course I haven’t.”

“Stop lying to me!” He hadn’t meant to yell, had told himself to remain calm to avoid letting his emotions get the best of him. Sebastian hadn’t expected it either, apparently. “I’m not an idiot, Sebastian. We’ve been together for twenty years.”

“Exactly,” Sebastian says, keeping his green eyes locked on Blaine’s own hazel ones. “We’ve been together for twenty years. Why would I cheat on you now?”

He rolls his eyes, barely caring that the tears he’d so adamantly fought against roll down his cheeks. It didn’t matter now anyway. “Because I was never going to be enough for you.”

They leave it at that. He retreats to the master bedroom, hoping desperately that Sebastian has enough decency to spend the night somewhere else, or at least in the spare bedroom. He hears the front door slam twenty minutes later, eyes focused on the neon numbers of his alarm clock the entire time and, although none of it is funny, he lets out a watery chuckle at the time it took for Sebastian to leave.

It’s ironic, and also not, but he needs to focus on something else to stop the bile threatening to end up on his bedroom carpet. He doubts he’ll have the energy to clean it tomorrow, if ever.

_I hope that you burn_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm at love-that-we-were-in on tumblr


End file.
